Confessions of a New York City Doorman

Sex, drugs and suicide... These are the stories, tales and rumors from a New York City apartment building as told by the overnight doorman. The names of the guilty have been changed to protect the innocent… while the names of the innocent don’t really matter that much anyway. Any similarities or resemblance to real people or real stories are very intentional.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Late Night Wake-Up Call

I was watching Babel on the DVD last night/early this morning while at the front desk. It was a cold, cold night so I had already locked down the front door for the night.

It was just before 4 a.m. when I heard and felt a loud crash. It would be another hour before the daily newspaper delivery service would be by to deliver newspapers to about 40 of the units in our building. It's funny, they come in around 5, hit every floor and are out in 15 minutes or less. It's among the more impressive feats, when you think about it. It's yet another example of how lazy people are. They have to have the paper waiting for them when they wake up. Utterly absurd. Like it's hard to walk down to the corner to buy the paper. That little bit of exercise might even do some of those fat bastards some good.

But back to the loud crash. It reminded me of a grenade going off outside on the street. I opened the door and peaked my head out, but did not see anything directly in front of the building. The street was desolate and empty, so I went back inside.

The phone rang; it was the guy in 5C asking if there was an explosion of the street. Had it been Mrs. Lipschitz in 5O, I would have ignored it. But Mr. Ohunyele felt the collision and it woke him up. Maybe five minutes later, the first of loud emergency vehicle sirens alerted me that something had in fact happened. The sirens were no longer getting louder or going away. There had been some sort of event that took place.

This time I put my jacket on and walked up to the corner on which Mr. Ohunyele overlooks up on 34th Street. As I got past the building, I saw the most unusual site - an overturned tax cab with more than half of the vehicle actually inside the Duane Reade that sits on the corner. For whatever reason, the cab lost control and plowed into one of the big display windows. There was no snow on the ground, but there may have been ice. There were no other vehicles that looked like they had been involved in the accident.

The sirens I heard were two police cars. Ambulances had not yet arrived. One police officer was already looking into the cab to see if there were passengers and what the condition of driver was. I was only outside for a few minutes and could not really offer any assistance. I returned inside and locked the door as more rescue and emergency vehicles stated to arrive. I have no question that the force of the impact I felt on the side of the building either killed or seriously injured the driver.

And the audacity of the tenants in our building... I got about 5-6 more calls from folks upstairs asking if I could do anything about the noise of the street. Apparently the wailing of the ambulances had woken them up. No regard for the life or lives at stake, they needed their previous sleep. Simply amazing.

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