Day Job

So you may be wondering why I haven't written in awhile. For that, I apologize. It turns out I had to take on another job to pay the bills. My wife is pregnant again!

Since early October, I have been working in the men’s fragrance department of a major, NYC department store that I will not mention, but rhymes with Gaycy's. You may have even seen me there for the holidays, standing along that snake-like line of usually six or seven tall, handsome, effeminate well-dressed men standing with bottles ready to spray, baskets of samples, and whatnot. Well during the holiday rush, they need to hire more, and from the looks of me, anyone with a pusle would do.

Mixed into that line of "sampling specialists," is one guy who clearly doesn' t belong. That's me, showing up to work wearing a wife-beater and baggy jeans. You've seen these guys jockeying for position, getting very catty and competitive any time a man walks by. There is an unwritten rules that when a woman walks by, they get rude, abruptly looking away as if to ignore her and let her know she is worth nothing.

I even recall one guy, Gianni, uttering this memorable line to a shocked customer...

“You dab a little of this on your privates, and she’ll have her face in your lap in no time.Hey you (to a passing woman): come here and sniff my crotch.

The guy's response... “I’m just looking for the ties.”

As it turns out, the store no longer needed my services after the new year shopping crunch ended, so I've gone back to doing the maintenance and handyman work. The good news is that over these past few months, I've seen a lot more crazy stuff go down at my apartment building that I look forward to sharing. I'm back, baby!